SchlegelRock

So first let’s start with the first chapter. How fun is it that Bella got a new armored car. I found a site with pictures of the car and it’s not as flashy as Bella makes it out to be. But I guess in Forks a tinted Mercedes is flashy. I can drive down Central and see any number of Mercedes, Volvos, BMWs and then a Lambourghini will drive by. Just another day in the Valley. But I guess in Forks the Guardian would be a big deal. I just can’t wait to find out what her real car is. That should be fun. Then again Edward has a reasonable car so maybe it’s not as fun as I’d like it to be.

Then Bella has to go and say that she was having trouble picturing a dull concept of husband with Edward. “It was like casting an archangel as an accountant; I couldn’t visualize him in any commonplace role.” Give me a break Bella. So maybe she hasn’t grown up as much as I thought she had. Scott is my hero. He is better than Superman and Spiderman and Batman combined so to hear Bella talk about husbands as being dull and commonplace is ridiculous to me. She obviously doesn’t know what a husband is.

You gotta love Renee’s response to Bella getting married. I had a feeling it would be like that but it still was a welcome surprise. I had braced myself for the worst.

And the wedding is only a few days away!!!!! Is it going to go off without a hitch? Probably not but that would also be a nice surprise.

Here’s where we talk predictions.  I don’t have any concrete beliefs that I just know are going to happen but I do have some ideas.

So I can go either way with Jacob. I think she’s set it up with the Legends that he could be gone for good, but it’s just so sad to think of it that way that I can see him coming back. Probably not at the beginning since Seth says he’s in Canada and the wedding is a few days away. Even so I can see him sweeping in in his white button up shirt and being Bella’s best man. But my gut tells me that’s not going to happen. Not really my gut actually, it just seems like too happy an ending so I don’t think it’s going to happen. Plus Bella didn’t invite him to the wedding so maybe being her best man would be overstepping his bounds. He was in so much pain the last time we saw him and from what Seth says he’s still hurting. It’s hard to believe Stephenie wont put some resolution and throw some goodness his way. But like I said, I can see it going either way.

While we’re on the subject of Jacob, I do not think that Leah imprinted on him though I know some of you would disagree with that. She was not being nice to him at the end of Eclipse and if she had imprinted she would have been everything that he needed. Not a thorn in his side. And I do think that in order to imprint on someone it has to be the first time you see them after the big transformation. But maybe that’s what all the Midsummer Night’s Dream business is all about. Maybe they start imprinting left and right and to multiple people and people they’ve already seen. Who knows?

Main bad guy: I think it’s the Volturi and I think maybe they’ll kidnap Bella either right after she’s been turned or before and then turn her themselves to try to get use of her “power.” Try to turn her into one of their elite maybe. That’s only if Aro’s involved though. I don’t think Caiaus would bother. I think that’s pretty far fetched but it’s an idea so I thought I’d throw it out there. Either way I do think they are the bad guys.

I do have the idea though that Bella will be a vampire at some point and she will be the one to conquer Jane. Since she’s the only one Jane’s powers don’t work against. Laura, maybe Jane is the queen and Bella is the pawn. What do you think? Bella still red with her own newborn blood.

Does Tanya come to try to sway Edward from marrying Bella and put Bella in danger herself? I’d guess no but again just an idea.

So that’s all I can think of right now, which is killing me because as you can guess I think about this constantly.  So now it’s your turn.  Post a comment and tell us what you think is going to happen.  Even those of you that don’t usually post. Post.  It will be so much fun to see what everyone else is thinking before Breaking Dawn comes out on Saturday.

So the big battle is over. Bella is sitting in Alice’s bathroom and asking her about being a newborn. Alice says she doesn’t know how it’s going to be for Bella because Alice has never known someone who’s chosen to become vampire before. She says, “It should be interesting to see how that affects you?” So I wonder if it’s going to be as hard for Bella. I’ve already said that I think her aversion to human blood will work in her favor and I think her choosing to turn will also work in her favor. Maybe it will be really easy for her. I wonder if she wont wake up after three days and just be fine. Just rock hard, craving animal blood and wired. I don’t know.

And a quick shout out to Charlie for putting Bella on the spot about running off with Edward. He’s got his spidey senses working. (There would be super heroes on my “Diagon Alley” too.)

I know it’s heartbreaking but I love the developments with Jacob. Both in the woods with the kiss and in his bedroom. I absolutely love the vision Bella has with the two little black haired children running around and I love that she talks to Jacob about it. That way he knows that she fully understands her decision and hopefully it will help him move on with time. I also love that he says he’ll always be waiting for her. It’s a very romantic notion but I wonder how that’s going to play out with the whole imprinting thing. If he imprints. I don’t know about that one either.

Then comes one of my favorite quotes from Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Bella is quoting it to Edward confirming that she’s made the right decision by staying with him. “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” And then Edward answers back Heathcliff’s line, “I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” So first of all, man do I love Wuthering Heights and secondly, man do I wish Scott and I quoted romantic verse to each other.

I definitely feel that by the end of Eclipse Bella has a better understanding of herself and her decisions. And I love that Edward flips on her so that she really has to commit to her decisions to get married and such. I will admit though that I’m not down with the Anne of Green Gables dress. I get it, don’t think I don’t get it. I just think it’s a little much but I guess Bella doesn’t really care what her wedding dress looks like so why should I. I just wonder when they make the Eclipse movie if they’re going to stay true to that. My guess is no, but I’m totally willing to be wrong. I just don’t think it speaks to a broad enough audience.  But if they change it, boy will they make enemies.  Let me go on record to say that I wouldn’t be one of them.

Now to Jacob. I’m so happy to have a little time only with him. To hear his thoughts and feel what he’s feeling. So what do you think? Is he coming back? Taha Aki never came back and Stephenie was sure to tell us that. It’s hard to imagine him being gone for good. I know he didn’t look at the date on the invitation but he could always listen to his “brothers” minds and find out when the wedding is and come back. Weirder things have happened.

This would be a great time to pledge my allegiance. Even though I am Switzerland and I think the vampires and the werewolves should coexist in happiness I am not on Team Switzerland. You can’t have both. That’s how I feel at least. A decision has to be made and for me it’s Team Edward. I love Bella’s decision. I would have made the same one. In fact, I did make the same one. Just like I relate to Bella even though I don’t agree with everything she does or feels, I totally think Edward is Scott. Works out conveniently for me Stephenie wrote two characters that I can totally love and relate to. That hasn’t happened to me before. I’m really enjoying it.

I’m just so happy to read this book again. It has some of my favorite quotes and it introduced me to one of my favorite books. Holy freaking crap, I love this series. And now just a few more days until Breaking Dawn! What could be better?

Mark, MarKaa,

Jake, Logan, Ryan and Addi drove in from AZ to spend the week with Scott’s parents, and us, of course. We went out to the Kite Flying Area off of Shoreline for Family Home Evening last night. After a little trial and error we found a perfect spot and had a really great time. Even though they’re not around each other much the kids got along swimmingly. Especially when Scott decided to start a wrestling match. We ended the night at Cold Stone and took up the entire place.

They’re in the City today so we wont see them. Unfortunately the beauty of the City is lost on me so I skipped out today. You ask yourself what’s wrong with her? Who knows, just jaded I guess. I used to go clubbing up there all the time so maybe that’s all I think it’s good for. I do love the Zoo though. So clubbing and the Zoo, what else is there? They do have The Dark Night playing in IMAX at the Metreon so maybe I’ll end up there anyways.

So this is a little bit of Breaking Dawn too. There’s an interview on Amazon with Stephenie saying there are two books she’s inspired by in Breaking Dawn. One is A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was talking to Laura and Julianne the other day about this and we discussed how the fairies messed with all the couples and switched around who they were in love with. So we immediately thought of imprinting. What if some wacky stuff goes down with Jacob or Leah or the other wolves (not Jacob and Leah, as far as I’m concerned that ship has sailed). Then I was reading in Eclipse when Edward and Bella are talking about the complex dynamic with the wolves and their thoughts and Edward brings up the imprinting and says, “It reminds me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies’ love spells…” How crazy is that? So maybe we were right and the wolves are going to go through some crazy love “spells”. Are they going to somehow effect the vampires or Edward and Bella or are they going to be contained by the wolves? I don’t know but I’m so excited to find out.

The next “insight”, maybe, into Breaking Dawn is when Bella finally realizes she’s ready to join Edward’s family. She’s realized that she’s got to make a choice and she says:

“The next time something came at us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.”

What do you think? Is this foreshadowing for Breaking Dawn or is this just wishful thinking on Bella’s part?

I got to one of my favorite parts which is where Bella, Jacob and Edward are all in the tent. I love the whole conversation but here are a few of my favorite parts:

“Go fetch a space heater,” he (Jacob) grumbled. “I’m not a St. Bernard.”

“Your lips are still blue,” he (Jacob) mused. “Want me to warm those up for you, too?

Seth shows up and Jacob says, “Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you.”

“You know, Jacob, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re natural enemies and that you’re also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.” (Edward)

“Maybe…if you weren’t a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love…well, no, not even then.” (Jacob)

“Sorry,” Jacob whispered. “You could leave, you know–give us a little privacy.”

“Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?” Edward offered.

“You could try,” Jacob said, unconcerned. “It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn’t that perfect.”

Jacob whispered a laugh. “I’d rather not move just now, if you don’t mind.”

I love that they actually got some time to talk to each other when Jacob wasn’t practically shouting. Still a tense situation, but Jacob has the upper hand here if only for a moment. It’s good to see Jacob get a little appreciation.

I love it too when Bella wakes up in the morning and can’t get Jake off of her and she asks Edward for some help. He says, “Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?” Funny stuff. I love that Edward is just a guy too. He wants to rip Jacob apart as much as Jacob wants to rip him apart. He just has a little more of Heathcliff in him so he wont hurt Jacob as long as Bella loves him. I love that Heathcliff says if Cathy changed her mind he would have “…drank his blood! (p266)” How funny that that fits together so nicely. (Not that Edward would drink the dogs blood but maybe, huh?)

I pretty much skipped commenting on the middle of the book because it’s not directly about Bella and Edward so I kind of zone out. I almost feel like the whole Rosalie, Jasper and Quileute Legends should have been a supplementary book. Like they did with those little books that came out with Harry Potter. It’s not that I’m not fascinated by it, it just isn’t my top priority. I do like that Rosalie gives Bella some solid things to think about. And Jasper scaring her with what it will be like to be a newborn. Bella is definitely not clearly thinking about what she would be giving up or turning into.

So Bella has no idea how she’s playing both Edward and Jacob. Going back to the Cathy scenario, she only knows that she wants both of them and they’ll both pretty much cave to her and she only marginally thinks about Jacob’s feelings. So then she pulls this one after the graduation party when the werewolves and vampires have decided to work together. To Edward, “If you wont take me, then I’ll call Jacob.” Woah. Really Bella? How manipulative can you get? I get that she’s terrified for her two soul mates but yikes. I mean is she picking Edward or Jacob? I guess neither at this point; she still thinks she can have her cake and eat it too. But there was probably a better way to get Edward to take her. I guess I just have to remember she’s only 17, right?

I get a chuckle every time I read this:

Edward: “To think it’s come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!”

“Fighting with vampires instead of against them!” Jacob mirrored Edward’s tone of disgust.

“Well, you still get to fight against some of them,” Edward said.

Jacob smiles. “That’s the reason we’re here.”

Silly boys.

This is just a quick one. After the night with the werewolves and vampires getting together Bella wakes in the morning and makes herself Pop Tarts. I’m totally down with that. I like the cherry ones so I assume that’s what Bella’s eating too. Kind of silly, or maybe a lot silly, but that’s OK.

Right after the Pop Tarts Bella is telling Edward that he can’t give her gifts because he’s already given himself, “…and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.” To which Edward replies, “The way you regard me is ludicrous.” Um yeah. I know that when you first fall in love you totally overlook all the negative things a person does. I did it. Scott did it. We all do it but to put Edward up on a pedestal like a god is a little ridiculous. Sometimes I lose patience with Bella because she has no regard for herself and thinks Edward is perfect. Give me a break. Nobody is perfect. And it drives me nuts because she thinks becoming a vampire will even the playing field. Yeah she’ll be beautiful and strong but she’ll still be just Bella on the inside. So she better start shaping up quick since the day is fast approaching.

I love the theme of Wuthering Heights through Eclipse. I hadn’t read Wuthering Heights before I read this book so when I finally picked it up I had Bella’s (Stephenie’s) perspective to guide me through. It has ended up being one of my favorite books. So now that I’m reading Eclipse again and I read Bella say, “Well, I hope you’re smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff.” Stephenie sets up the book so perfectly. Bella’s desire to be with both Jacob and Edward causes major turmoil for all three of them. Her desire to have both. She just can’t live with her decision and let go. I’m glad she doesn’t. (I probably wouldn’t have.) It makes for a great read. And that’s not to mention the major selfish act at the end of the book that ends up saving her life. Having Edward camping with her ended up in her favor for sure. (Again, probably something I would have done too.)

I always forget that Bella goes to see Renee. It’s such a short part of the book but there are two things that catch my attention when I read it. They both happen when Renee is expressing her concerns about Bella’s relationship with Edward. She’s talking about how Bella moves and positions herself around Edward. She says, “You’re like a …satellite, or something.” I love it because that’s how Bella described herself in New Moon. She said she was like a moon who’s planet had imploded and she was still circling where he should have been. I like it when books tie together like that.

The second is just a bit later when Bella asks her mom if she’s been reading any good sci-fi and her mom says, “Well, there was one…” I love it. A little nod to The Host which I absolutely loved by the way. Not as feverishly as Twilight but still loved.

How funny is it when Bella is trying to talk everyone in to turning her into a vampire and she’s complaining that Edward swept her off to Florida and Alice says, “Haven’t you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?” That is an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. He does calm down after a while but the whole kidnapping thing is hilarious. I can understand it though. With his understanding of werewolves and the whole mortal enemy thing going on and of course his jealousy, he’s a over the top, but who doesn’t make rash decisions sometimes?

Now my favorite part in all three books. One simple paragraph that just thrills me every time I read it.

“when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence.

I love that part but here comes my favorite.

I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”

Does anyone else want Angela to be a witch? I love witches! I don’t see how it would play into the story but bring it on. We can all meet in Diagon Alley where witches and werewolves and vampires are all welcome. I guess werewolves and vampires are not really welcome in Diagon Alley, so we’ll make up our own magical street. Maybe that was even a nod to Harry Potter. Because she could have said she could be a fairy or an elf (who would also be welcome on my street.) I don’t know, what do you think?

So I’m behind a little bit with my pictures. These were taken at Almaden Lake in San Jose where we went for our friends Alan and Erika’s birthday party. It’s actually a pretty cool place to party. They have paddle boats you can rent and they have lifeguards on duty so you can play in the lake. The only drawbacks were the heat and the duck poo EVERYWHERE. Why is it so much hotter in San Jose? Sunnyvale is like the perfect little spot that stays cooler in the summer and rains less in the winter but is close enough to the bay to get a great breeze. I love Sunnyvale!! Oh, and the kids had a great time playing in the spiderwebs with Scott. We didn’t know there was water so we didn’t bring their suits but it was still a good time had by all.

When I made my “I am Switzerland” t-shirt I had one other on my mind that I was choosing between. It was a quote from Embry, “I bet she’s tougher than that. She runs with vampires.” I still like this quote but I’m very happy with my shirt. I get a lot of comments on it. So far nobody actually understands the context of it, but they like the message. It’s so much fun to wear.

My favorite foreshadowing happens after Bella has jumped off the cliff and she’s dreaming about Juliet. She’s questioning if Romeo left would Juliet marry Paris. She comes to the conclusion that, “‘Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris’ would have never been a hit.” Stephenie pretty much spells it out there. Sorry Jacob it’s just not going to happen and somehow Edward is coming back. You don’t know how yet but you know he’s on his way. Well, I guess Bella has to go get him but you know what I mean.

It’s almost like a breath of fresh air when Edward comes back and gets Bella back to her house. When she wakes up and decides she wants to put her mortality to a vote I just about cracked up. My favorite bit of Bella and Edwards conversation is this

“Stay here,” he suggested…

“No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home…”

“Okay,”he sighed.”I’ll give you a ride.”

I shrugged. “Either way. But you probably should be there, too.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re extraordinarily opinionated, and I’m sure you’ll want a chance to air your view.”

It just healed all the wounds of Edward leaving to have them banter like that again. Like he was really back for good.  And he is extraordinarily opinionated.

Then when Edward proposes and Bella is using her mother as an excuse not to get married and Edward says, “Because she’d rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married…” How funny is that? I love that Bella is totally OK with becoming a vampire but the thought of marriage sends her through the roof. Hilarious.

I love New Moon. I love the journey. Every bit of it. The extreme pain and the extreme relief at the end. It’s all worth it. Now on to Eclipse!!

This is the second half of the New Moon quiz we got in Forks. Answers in the comments. Let me know if any of them stumped you.

18. Who was Bella surprised to see in the meadow?

19. What color eyes do “good” vampires have?

20. Who chased Laurent out of the meadow?

21. What does legend say that the Quileutes tied to the tops of the tallest trees in the mountains?

22. Who are the enemies of vampires?

23. What do the werewolves refer to themselves as?

24. Why did Jacob worry about being too mad?

25. What is the name of Sam’s girlfriend (fiancee)?

26. What were the names of Jacob’s werewolf brothers?

27. What Shakespearean figure did Bella dream about after surviving her cliff dive?

28. Which friend of Charlie & Billy’s had a heart attack?

29. What reason did Bella tell Alice for why she jumped off the cliff?

30. What was the name of the family in Italy that the Cullen’s were afraid of?

31. What was the name of the leader in the underground in Volturi City?

32. Where did Edward hide Bella’s CD, pictures and tickets?

33. Who agreed to make Bella a vampire?

34. What did Jacob put in the driveway to get Bella in more trouble with Charlie?

Here’s the New Moon portion of the quiz I got from the nice Forks Chamber of Commerce lady. As usual the answers will be in the comments.

1. What is the date of Bella’s birthday?

2. What kind of vehicle does Bella drive?

3. Who was one of Bella’s favorite fictional characters?

4. What did Carlisle remove from Bella’s arm at the Cullen’s on her birthday?

5. What was Edward’s mother’s name?

6. What is the name of the place where Bella worked?

7. Who found Bella lost in the forest?

8. What kind of math did Bella take in her final semester?

9. What kind of movie did Bella & Jessica go to see in Port Angeles?

10. What kind of car and year was Jacob working on?

11. What were Jacob’s friends’ names?

12. What town did Jacob & Bella go to for motorcycle parts?

13. What kind of spaghetti sauce did Billy use?

14. What was the name of the movie that Bella, Jacob & MIke went to see?

15. What did Bella wish that Jacob was to her?

16. What color is Billy & Jacobs house?

17. What disease did Billy think Jacob had? (I don’t like the way this one is worded because Billy knew exactly what was going on with Jacob. Maybe a better way to ask would be: What disease did Billy say Jacob had?)

I was in my room when I heard a loud bang and Maxwell and Truman screaming. I went running to find out what had happened and found the top bunk of the bunk bed fallen down at an angle trapping Truman against the wall. When I lifted the bed up and Tru climbed out the end I didn’t even have to ask to know what had happened. Any of you who grew up with bunk beds can probably guess yourselves.

Max was lying in the top bunk because his stomach hurt. Tru decided to go in and bug him so he was pushing up on the backside of the bed. The front side of the bed dislodged and fell down creating the triangle that Tru was stuck in. He’s just lucky the whole thing didn’t fall down on him. Anyway Max went tumbling to the ground in between his mattress and the top rail of the bed.

I asked Tru if he was pushing up on the bed and he said “Yes.” I asked him if he was going to do it again and he said “No.” As you can see from the picture the bed fell down all the way after I got Tru out. Just ridiculous. I know this isn’t just boys because I used to push up on my brother when we slept in bunk beds. Has this happened to any of you?

This morning was a comedy of errors. First I left the house without my helmet and when I rode past the group of painters that are always standing around during my runs or bikes one of them said, “What, no helmet?” Crap, I had left my helmet at home. Well I was too embarrassed to turn around so I made the big loop back to my house the whole time terrified that I was going to get hit by a car and get brain damage.

So I make it back home and get my helmet on. Then I was too embarrassed to ride past the painters again with my helmet, so I went the opposite direction of my normal ride. Instead of all right turns it was all left turns which meant crossing the street with two lights for each turn. I get the first light at the end of my street and take my right foot out of the holster to put it on the curb. I decided to kind of angle myself so I could easily take off to the left when the light changed and boom. On the ground. I totally fell over on my bike. Luckily there was no one at the intersection, which is a rarity, so I got up and picked my bike up and got back on and waited for the light.

When I got to the next light and it turned green I started to go but swerved a little bit as I got my balance. Apparently I scared the guy in the car next to me because he yelled something at me. I’m just not that good at riding bikes. “I’m learning,” I wanted to shout back at him but didn’t.

The thing that made it all worth while though is when I got home and realized I’d been riding around with blood dripping down my leg. How cool is that!!? It was a sissy amount of blood, no gushing, but still, it was blood. It made me feel proud of myself that even though it was kind of a crappy ride I still did it, blood and all.

The pictures are of my bike. When you get into the higher end racing bikes you don’t get fun detailed seats or swirly frames. I’m glad I got an entry level bike if only for the pretty factor. And the fact that I’m going to fall down a lot.

Can you believe it? We have a 7 year old! I didn’t feel like time went that fast when he was a baby but now it’s flying for sure. Max is a really great kid. He’s very soft spoken and mostly even tempered. He does have brothers so his mean side comes out but for the most part he is a really great friend. He tends to look out for them and make sure they’re taken care of. I couldn’t have asked for a better first child. My heart swells just thinking about him.

On the 19th, Grandma and Grandpa Schlegel and Grandma Sandy stopped by for some cake and ice-cream and presents of course. Thanks guys and thank you to Grandma and Grandpa Walker and the Burger kids for their presents too. And Walkers, Max got your message and loved it.

Scott took him to buy a new bike and was trying to sell him on a cheap BMX style bike with the knobs on the front and rear wheels for tricks. He wasn’t having it. “I don’t know any tricks,” he said. So he just got a totally generic bike that has hand brakes for a little excitement.

I try to make the kids birthday cakes for them and let them choose the flavors. Max said he wanted a layer cake; chocolate cake with white icing. I didn’t like the idea of white icing (just didn’t sound good to me for some reason. I do like white icing though) so I showed him a cooking show which just happened to be on, talk about kismet, with a chocolate layer cake with chocolate icing. He said that would be fine. So I make this cake all from scratch. Melting chocolate, giving the icing an ice bath, etc. and I’m totally pleased with it. We serve it up at the party and he eats it up so I thought it was a hit.

The next day, looking for an ego boost, I asked him how the cake was. He says it was sort of good. I said well what was wrong with it. He said he wanted white icing (dang, that came back to bite me) and he wanted a layer cake. I was confused and told him I had made a layer cake. It turns out he didn’t want a layer cake, he wanted a tiered cake. Like a wedding cake. Boy does this kid have some lofty aspirations if he thinks he’s going to get tiered cakes for his birthday. Who knows maybe next year I’ll buy a couple of new pans and make him one. One things for sure, I watch too many cooking shows with the kids!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!

So you all know that I love the Twilight series and I’ve been blogging more about it to tell you why. Well we’ve hit the jackpot. New Moon means more to me than either of the other two books and it’s because of the journey that Bella takes. Let me get a little personal to explain why.

Most of you know that I’m bipolar and about two years ago I was hospitalized because of it. That was the darkest point of my life. I had a week leading up to my breakdown where I kept feeling like I was losing control of myself. I would find myself crunched in a ball on the ground trying to hold myself together. Then the breakdown actually came and I vividly remember lying in the ER at El Camino Hospital shaking from head to toe thinking I was either going to die or go insane. I remember when they took me to the psych ward and asked Scott to leave. That’s the last thing I remember for about 3 days. One day I woke up and fell into the routine of the hospital (group therapy, art therapy, meals, etc.). Then I got released into the outpatient program which is where the hell really began. I literally could not handle being out of my bed huddled under the covers. Any stimulation whatsoever would send me cringing back into my shell. I couldn’t take care of my kids. I woke up in the morning and went to the hospital and then came home and went to my room. Oh my gosh, just remembering it is awful, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Time went on and I eventually started going to church and interacting with people again but I was totally dead inside. I was so scared of losing control of myself again that I refused to let myself feel anything. No love, no happiness, no tenderness, nothing.

A little more time passed and I finally was able to reach out to Scott and my kids again. I can’t even explain how scary or painful that was. Another thing that happened that may seem strange is that I lost the ability to breathe normally. I couldn’t take in a deep breath for fear of opening up the gaping hole in my soul. It felt like a black hole had taken over my chest and threatened to suck me in if I wasn’t vigilant at guarding myself. So every step I took closer to Scott and the kids, was a step closer to that hole. It was like recovering from a horrific car accident and having to do extensive physical therapy. It was really hard and it hurt like hell but with their help I did it. I finally brought them back in.

That’s where I was when I found Twilight. Well on the road to recovery, but still a long journey ahead of me. So I get to New Moon and Stephenie paints this beautifully, horrible picture of Bella suffering and the hole in her torso that rips and pulses at the edges. I love that when Edward leaves all we get is October, November, December, January. That’s exactly what I felt like. The time passed but it didn’t mean anything. Then when she goes to the zombie movie with Jessica and realizes she’s the zombie I realized that I was the zombie too. Totally dead to the world. Going through the motions with no real feeling. Then everything changes that night. She’s not totally dead anymore. Some of her defenses come down and she can’t bring them back and it’s scary as hell to feel so vulnerable.

Then the best thing happens. She makes the decision to be reckless. The healing begins. Every day she feels more vulnerable but she’s loving it. That’s what New Moon did for me. It touched me so deep down inside where nothing else touched me. It brought me to life. That’s why I’m so obsessed with these books. They literally changed my life. A teen vampire book changed my life. It woke me up and made me realize that I needed to put forth more effort if I wanted to live a healthy life again. As Bella started smiling without effort and laughing without realizing it so did I. I relished in her recovery, I drank it in and let it fill me up.

So when I say I love Bella it really means I love that Stephenie so descriptively wrote about a pain so awful it tears your soul into tiny pieces that takes years to put back together. Well I guess for Bella it only took Edwards return, but in real life it takes a long time to recover from that kind of hurt.

I know you’ve all probably felt that way. I know I’m not the only person on the Earth that has experienced this. I just happened to find Bella and really felt like she was a “kindred spirit”. Her pain was felt so similarly to mine that I couldn’t help loving her. So if I run around on Twilight related trips wearing “I am Switzerland” t-shirts it’s not only because I’m crazy, which I am, but also because I’m reveling in my recovery.

I guess I should mention that I’m doing great. Not 100% yet but I have every hope that I will be. Every day that passes brings me closer to myself. In fact, I would say I’m a much better person now than I was before the episode. Much stronger. I’m totally trying new things that I never would have dreamed of before. I appreciate my family and friends more. I appreciate God more. Life is good.

Sorry for the long post, I just really wanted you to understand how deeply I love these books. I can honestly say that these books have been a blessing in my life. Corny, I know.

So we just got back from Pleasanton where Scott ran his second Tri for Fun. I’m going to tell you about both triathlons briefly since we haven’t heard from the illustrious Scott Schlegel. The Sacramento race, featured on the right was a 1/2 mile swim, 16 mile bike, 3 mile run. The Pleasanton race, featured on the left, was a 1/4 mile swim, 10 mile ride, 4 mile run.

The first race he ran was in Sacramento with his cousin Todd. There was a pretty competitive crowd there that day including two teams full of thirteen year olds that were ripped. It was kind of creepy looking but then again maybe I was just jealous. Today’s race was in Pleasanton and Scott did it with his co-workers Armin and Greg. Greg’s fiancee Jamie was there to support him so we got to hang out more than the guys did. This race was much more laid back. A good one for beginners.

So in this first shot in the top left corner you’ll notice two nuclear silos. (You may need to enlarge the photo.) That’s right, Scott is swimming in the cooling water for the power plant. Now before you freak out, it’s actually the water that goes into the plant, not the water that comes out of the plant. Fun story though, huh? You might also note that my man is rockin the speedo. Oh yeah!! In the second shot Scott is behind the big blond head. He has graduated into tri shorts which are meant to be worn for all three legs of the race. You’ll have to check them out in the next two pictures cuz you can’t see them here. Thanks blondie.

In Sacramento I was able to get up close and take a picture of Scott dismounting so you can see what a kick butt mountain bike he has and how cool he looks getting off of it. In Pleasanton I wasn’t able to get that close so you’ll have to bear with a faraway action shot. That’s Scott on his new road bike (which I regret not being able to capture) wearing the blue bike shirt which is a step up from the white t-shirt he wore in Sac.

Now, I don’t know if you can tell but soccer shorts wearing Scott is worn out at the end of the Sac triathlon. He hardly prepared for this race but he still managed to finish in in the middle of the pack. Incredible. Doesn’t it just make you mad? If I had tried that I would have drowned. I wouldn’t have even made it to the bike. But anyways, Scott did quite a bit of training for the second race and bettered his time by an hour! You can tell by the sexy little swagger with the shirt ripping open from the hottness.

So the bike upgrade helped a ton. The upgraded shorts were a big plus. The next step is the sleeveless shirt like the guy in the black in front of him. Then the super transformation will be complete. Bwah, wah, hah, hah.