Blood Draw
Posted in Bipolar by: Alisa
I went yesterday to get my blood drawn at Kaiser. I’m supposed to do this regularly because of the bipolar meds I’m on but this time it had been a year and a half since my last draw. I got a call from my Psychiatrists nurse a while back gently reminding me that he had reminded me to get it done months ago. Fine.
Everything went pretty well. There was a fifteen minute wait on the first floor so I went up to the second and waited maybe 5 minutes to get called in. The lady drawing blood had trouble finding my vein so that hurt a bit but other than that, everything went fine and now I wait for my results to make sure everything looks OK.
The reason I’m telling you this is because every time I get my blood drawn I get flashbacks to when I was pregnant with Max and got it drawn for the first time. You see I had started having panic attacks only I had no idea what they were so I thought something was really wrong with me. I was also throwing up everything that I ate that wasn’t ice-cream so I was pretty depleted and tired and I thought I was losing my mind. And my bipolar hadn’t been diagnosed yet so I really had no idea what was going on.
So I show up to get my blood drawn and I’m starting to hyperventilate but I’m trying my darndest to keep it together. But that doesn’t last for long. The lady puts the needle in and starts the draw and I start crying and hyperventilating at the same time. I just wanted to run out of there screaming and crying and curl in a ball somewhere to hide from it all. I was not in a good place.
Then another Phlebotomist walks up behind my station and says, “She shouldn’t have got herself knocked up if she couldn’t stand to be poked.” Great. Thank you so much for your kindness and compassion. I can still remember what that felt like to sit there and hear her say such an insensitive thing. Of course it made me feel worse. I felt like not only was I falling apart but medical professionals viewed me as weak and had no compassion for me. I felt hopeless.
All she had to do was ask me if I was OK or say something soothing to me but she chose to be cold and calloused and make fun of me. She had no idea that I was bipolar, and that I didn’t know it yet, and that the pregnancy exacerbated my condition and that the panic attacks were still unknown. Maybe she thought I was on drugs or just afraid of needles but does that really matter? I was clearly in distress and she had the power to make me feel at least a little bit better or shut her mouth and not influence the situation at all.
Needless to say I went home and got in bed and cried for a good long time. I’m amazed that I’m even able to get my blood drawn anymore but I am. I flashback to that experience every time I go and hope for a better one this time. At least I know how to deal with a panic attack should I have one and my meds keep the rest in check. So far so good. Even if they can’t find the vein the first time. Nobody’s perfect, right?
Do you have any horror stories that still linger when you go see the Dr?
August 20th, 2009 at 10:13 am
When I first got my blood drawn for my pregnancy, I hyperventilated and cried, too. I scared the poor nurse so badly the supervising nurse had to come and take my blood. There were older women (in probably their 80s) getting their blood drawn looking at me like I was 3 years old! I was so embarrassed. By the time my pregnancy was over, I was better, but not great. Then, at my 6 week post partum appointment I freaked out because they didn’t warn me they were going to poke my finger. It took me the entire appointment time to ready myself for it.
Before the pregnancy, I hadn’t gotten poked in probably …. 15 years.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Wow, thanks for sharing Alisa. You know, in every test I took in nursing school there were questions with scenarios and all the answers were different responses that nurses could give, with only one being the correct “sensitive” or “appropriate” answer. It was kind of looked at as a joke by a lot of people, but when I hear stories like this I always think that maybe everyone, from medical assistants to phlebotomists to x-ray techs should have to have a unit on appropriate statements just because no one needs to hear that negativity or judgments when they are in a vulnerable place.
August 20th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
It’s pretty much always bugged you. The Sunnyvale Clinic used to be small and Dr. Sharkey would come down to try to help comfort you. You weren’t too thrilled with xrays then either. With all of your surgeries in high school, you were okay. But flashbacks and panic attacks don’t usually let you remember the times that were okay…. I have to go tomorrow or Saturday and get a series of them also. That’s part of the reason I had problems with the Dr. yesterday. I was waiting to get the lab tests in the mail and just found out today that they are in the computer system and all you have to do is go in….
August 20th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Dang, Lis, you are tan.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:03 pm
omg! How horrifying! Part of a phlebotomist’s job is bedside manner! They should be kind, understanding, and gentle! Sigh.
Here’s my horror story: When I was in High School, I got Mono! (And the really disappointing part was that I didn’t even kiss anyone!! Argh!!) I was really sick, but before the doctor could officially diagnose me I had to get blood drawn. We lived in a rural area and had to drive in 2.5 hours to get to the doctor and have the blood draw. I was really tiny (100 or so lbs) and they drew 3 vials of blood, which seemed like a LOT! I was totally dizzy afterwards. So we drove back home and waited and waited and I was SO SICK I just wanted to doctor to get back to us right away so I could start to get some medication or something. Anyway, a week passed and we finally called. Turns out, the lab lost my blood! So we had to drive in again and re-do. That time, they drew 4 vials of blood (and extra one “just in case”) and I was so dizzy from that blood draw that I almost passed out! Eek! In the end, the doctor just told me to take Ibuprofen and rest. Bummer.
August 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Insensitive people are lame-o. I’m glad that you had a better experience this go-round. My anxiety appears at the dentist; never happened until two years ago when the good doctor was drilling a cavity and it wasn’t numbed enough, and then the filling triggered extreme sensitivity in the tooth (still, to this day). I made the mistake of telling the dentist about the sensitivity, so now, EVERY time I go, they put some sort of freezing air on it to “see how long the pain lasts”. Nice. I never used to get nervous going to the dentist, but now I have to meditate with relaxing ipod music while repeating the words, “you are calm, you are calm” just to make it through a cleaning. Ha! Sounds so ridiculous typing it, but it’s amazing what triggers our bodies never forget.
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I agree with Clisty–you look so tan in this picture! Must be all that time we spend at Great America:). You know I’m kind of an anxious person so I probably have a couple of stories. But Like Shannon, I started having anxiety at the dentist. It started when I was in college and had kind of a funky feeling in a tooth. No biggie but I thought I’d get it checked out. The dentist took an x ray and was FLOORED at what he saw. I had a giant abscess in my jaw and the puss was seeping out of my gums. Ok, that sounds really nasty now that I just read it. Anyways, it was just before finals and my wedding. I was so afraid that my face would swell up with infection and I’d look like a freak for my wedding. I asked the dentist if that would happen and he said, “Well, it’s possible.” (and he said it in a snotty way). What?? That’s not what you say to a person who’s freaked out! You say, “You know there might be that slight possibility but it’s very unlikely.” Or something like that. Anyways, because of that event, every time I feel any tiny twinge in my teeth I’m afraid it’s another abscess.