“Is it lunchtime?”
Posted in Rantings by: Alisa
If you haven’t heard my complaints before about lunchtime you’re about to get an eye full. Which is totally funny because I only have one at home now but it still effects me the same way. I hate lunchtime. I hate it with a passion so fierce I can feel it tightening my chest even now just thinking about it. Why, you ask? I’m not sure what the root causes are but I have come to loathe lunchtime more than any other time of the day. And you know how much I hate mornings so I’m being real serious here.
I guess it started when Max was little and he would start asking me about lunch time starting at 10 am and then every five minutes after that until noon. Add another kid and it’s another mouth asking when lunchtime is at ridiculous intervals. Then the third comes. Oh my gosh. If one of them isn’t asking the other two are. It’s non stop. And yes, I do feed them snacks so they’re not starving. Thank goodness I finally drilled it into the older two’s heads to watch the clock. Stop asking me and look at the stinking clock. Is it 12:00? No? Then it’s not lunchtime.
Then lunchtime actually comes and all I hear is, “I want a peanut butter and honey sandwich,” “I want a turkey sandwich,” “I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” ”I want cheese bread,” “I want grilled cheese,” “I want a cheese sandwich.” Can you hear me screaming? Because I am. No one ever wants the same thing. Do I look like a short order cook? Because I’m not. I am a loving mother who wants to make sure her children are fed but who would like to make one type of sandwich a day. That’s all I’m asking. One type. Not four (Jessica our neighbor has been with us this Summer).
I even tried making one type of sandwich per day but it didn’t stop the little voices. ”But I want turkey. Why can’t I have turkey?” ”I don’t want peanut butter!” ”I said I wanted two squares one rectangle and a triangle.” ”His squares are bigger than mine.”
And don’t even get me started on the shapes they want their sandwiches cut into. Someone who shall remain nameless actually took cookie cutters and cut shapes out of their sandwiches for them so of course that’s what they want me to do. I am not Martha Stewart people. I’m not even grandma. I’m mom and I cut in half. That’s what I do.
So a month ago I finally wised up and started making the older three make their own sandwiches. That way they can make whatever they want and cut it into a bajillion pieces if that’s what their hearts desire. And now that the school year has started I’m going to let Max and Tru make their own lunches the night before so they can do whatever they like with their sandwiches. Genius, if I do say so myself.
It’s looks like everything is taken care of right? Well, I’m writing this post because at 9:30 this morning Oli came into my room and asked if it was lunchtime. I just about lost it. I guess it’s time to start teaching him how to read the clock. Poor kid has no idea his mom has so much built up anger about the subject. But I am not a short order cook people. I love being a mom but I do not love making four different types of sandwiches and cutting them in four different shapes. I have my limits.
Now I’ll take a deep breath and try to put this all behind me. There’s just one more kid to train.
I know there’s something that you have to do as a mom or a wife that drives you absolutely batty. And it comes up almost everyday if not everyday. I know I’m not alone. What is it?
Update: Even if you’re not a mom or a wife there’s gotta be something that makes you nuts. We wanna know.
August 27th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Thomas does this same thing with asking about anything he knows is coming up. Its gotten to the point where I tell him exactly 5 minutes before we leave or before someone shows up that something is going to happen because I hate getting asked about it every 2 seconds.
August 27th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Ryan’s the same way. I’m sure part of the problem is that he’s not great at eating his breakfast. I think he’s too eager to watch morning cartoons or something. And the cookie cutter thing cracked me up because my friend cut Ryan’s sandwich into shapes a long time ago and I’ve been trying to break him of that demand. The thing that drives me nuts with Macie is that she has learned really quickly where the snacks are and how to open them. All of a sudden I’ll see her hand Ryan a juice box or fruit snacks and they open them up. I’ll even put the snacks on the top shelf but there’s no stopping her. Funny kids.
August 27th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Our problemo
is also on the same lines of food. And it’s the question asked while waiting at a restaurant. “Mom, when do you think our food will get here?”
hmmm, I dunno, when the server places it in front of you maybe?
The craziest thing is that it’s our oldest kid (13) that asks it. And she knows there’s something with that question that she knows makes us nuts, so she rewords it each time. As if she finds the perfect phrasing, we will not spontaneously combust.
August 28th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Okay, just for the record, I’m not the one with the cookie cutter sandwiches. I don’t even know where my cookie cutters are :> I will admit to cutting the crust off the bread of those who ask. And to cutting into the squares, rectangles, or triangles. For some reason, that kind of stuff doesn’t bug me anymore. I still have things to do, but I think when you are a young mom, thinking about what to put on the table let alone what shape it should be in, isn’t at the top of the priority list. And to get the “I hate it out of the way”, I just announce to the child who is currently going through that phase that I am making dinner or lunch or breakfast and I’m sorry but he’s going to hate it and has to eat some anyways. He ends up eating it and forgets to say he hates it.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I go crazy job hunting.. And when people post pictures of food that looks so so so delish (refer to above picture), and i cant have it!! That sandwich looks so so good!! I wanna stuff it in my face!! I hope im as good as a mom as you are Alisa!! Cause i might not be as patient!
September 4th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Oh my gosh, this post just cracked me up because I feel EXACTLY the same way! Even though it’s a pain to pack the girls’ lunches for school (they like NONE of the same things!), I’m so relieved that Emily’s finally in school all day and Andrew is not too picky. The best thing ever is when I pick him up from pre-school and hand him a sandwich in a baggie to eat on the way home or the two of us go out to lunch, because then I feel like I get to completely avoid the lunchtime hassle which I also absolutely DREAD! This kid won’t eat P.B. That kid won’t eat ham. No girl likes cheese. This one hates applesauce. That one wants a SPECIAL kind of yogurt. This one won’t eat chicken nuggets in THAT shape. That one doesn’t want anything except fruit (for NOW) but will change her mind six times or can’t decide at all. I feel like a stinkin’ short order cook, too. ARGGGHHHH! I’m with you, Alisa. I HATE LUNCHTIME!
September 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
My trigger is when someone asks for something, like milk, while you’re in the middle of doing something else. And then keeps asking. And then asks again when you finally finish the other thing, without giving you a chance to get to it. And even if you acknowledge, “Yes, I’ll get some milk after I finish ___,” feels they need to remind you again and again. It drives me nutty. I am trying to acknowledge the first time, and then point out that maybe we could just wait patiently instead of demanding it every two seconds until it comes.