As you probably know, Stephenie was on Ellen today.  I loved Ellen’s opening monologue about vampires.  Very funny.  She said something about how they always look so great which is hard to do since they can’t see their reflections.  Funny stuff.  I skipped all the other guests and went right to my favorite author.  It was obvious that Ellen didn’t know who she was because all the questions were generic.  How did the story come to you?  How did you find an agent?  None of the juicy good stuff.  Oh well.  I’m happy for her fame and hope she’s happy too.  Did anyone else catch Ellen?

Here’s how it actually went down. After the concert ended 1800 people gradually got in line to get autographs. There were strict rules. You had to turn your book open to the first white page. Only one book per person would be signed. The line needed to move quickly so that Stephenie could eventually get to bed. All doable. So we get in the line and there are only about 50 people behind us. We stayed in our seats until the line was manageable because Laura could barely stand. The whole process, after the concert, took about 2 hours.

So we get to the table and Laura gives the helper her book who slides it over to Stephenie. Stephenie looks at Laura and says hi. Laura is trying not to vomit at this point so she says hi and then just stands there. Stephenie keeps looking at her so I’m thinking, wow, there’s tons of time to ask a question. I put my book down and lean down and quietly say, “Did you model the vampires bodies after celestial bodies?” She said no. That she’s heard that theory before but it’s not like that for her. I then said, “It’s like that for me.” She looked at me and said, “Really?” And I said, “Yeah.” Then I turned and left.

As I was walking away I realized I asked my question wrong!!!!! I didn’t mean the vampires bodies. I had meant like their acute senses and the ability to run without tiring. Not that they were hard and cold. Argh. Now (not that she even thought of me a second later) she’s going to think that I think I’ll be hard and cold like marble in the afterlife. What a disaster. The worst part of all was that my question took so much time that Julianne didn’t even get a chance to talk to her about the Merchant of Venice. What a loser I am. I don’t plan on ever having the opportunity to talk to her again. That was it. Oh well. I knew it would happen like that if I didn’t stick to my prepared statement.

It’s so funny. This is the only time in my life that I have been star struck. Seriously. I made it through the preteens and teens without ever once freaking out about a movie star or singer. Sure, I loved LL Cool J, but who didn’t. I never went to a concert though or hung a poster in my bedroom to make out with. So now I’m 31 and I’m goo goo for Stephenie Meyer. I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to give her a hug and a kiss. You guys know by now how much these books mean to me. I wanted her to understand that. But I reigned myself in. Mostly because I knew security would probably take my book away and throw me out. But also because the poor woman needs her privacy and personal space.

So anyways. Has anyone else ever lost it in front of the person they’re star struck by? Ever had a chance to meet them even?

The one thing I did not prepare myself for was the screaming. The three of us assumed erroneously that everyone would be calm like us and politely clap at appropriate intervals. Holy crap, were we wrong. Dead wrong. They screamed when the doors to the lobby opened. Screamed when the doors of the theater opened. Screamed when the lights went down. Screamed when the MC came out on stage. Let loose when Justin Furstenfeld came out. Screamed through his songs. Screamed louder when they were done. Then all hell broke loose when Stephenie came out. I honestly thought I was going to fall to pieces it was so loud. Imagine how Laura felt. She totally had her hands over her ears. The part that made me mad though is that they would scream during the interview and Stephenie wouldn’t be able to speak. I’m pretty sure they got through all the questions though.

So this is how it went down. Justin came out and played three songs acoustically. Then Stephenie and the MC came out and did a Q & A. Among the questions was what the cover of the book meant. She said the pawn was the human Bella, the weakest player on the board, turning into the queen, the strongest player on the board. And I’m sorry to say I can’t remember any of the other questions except that Jacob and Nessie will both be immortal since Jacob doesn’t age as long as he keeps phasing. Which she said wasn’t a problem for Jacob. (Sorry I can’t remember more. It was a really long day and night.)

Then Justin came back out and he played some of the songs from Stephenie’s play lists and Stephenie introduced them. My favorite of his is “Hate Me”. It’s from the time when Edward left Bella after Jasper attacked her. I really can relate to and get that one in this context. It just makes sense. The rest I had to try really hard to concentrate on. There was one really annoying point where she said this song “My Never” off of Justin’s next album reminded her of page 355 of Breaking Dawn. Everybody got out their phones and their books and started looking for the page. So it was annoying two fold. First that Stephenie didn’t give a better explanation (though the song really did speak for itself if you paid enough attention, which I had a hard time doing). Second that everyone had their stupid phones out distracting me from the song.

If I’m remembering correctly Justin left the stage and the MC came back out and her and Stephenie closed up the show. At that point Stephenie thanked Justin for being there and said he made doing this fun and that she usually hated her book signings. To which quite a few people made disappointed noises. I don’t blame them but I can understand Stephenie’s side too. I think if I was in her shoes I would hate that part of my job too.

I’m going to hopefully put a link in a future post so you can go to iClips and see the concert on their archived footage. The concert was totally worth going to. In fact I think I’ll watch it again just because my memory is so bad. It was a lot of fun. My favorite part being when Justin and Stephenie were on stage together.

I’m going to write about actually meeting Stephenie in my next post. I know this is taking a long time but all I wanted to do was spend time with Scott when I got home. Reading these books makes me love him even more than ever. Man, I love this series!

Edward + Bella 4-ever!!

Wow.  Does that even cover it?  I am so wrapped up in Breaking Dawn and the emotions that it put me through that I can barely get my thoughts together.  I just finished it about an hour ago so this is still really fresh and raw in some places.

I guess I’ll start at the beginning.  The wedding went off with only a little Jacob hitch and that was such a nice surprise.  What a really refreshing, beautiful moment that we got to share with Bella and Edward.  I also loved it that she finally came around.  She actually wanted to be his wife and see him as her husband.  And then the honeymoon.  Started out pretty magical.  Except for the bruising of course but Bella seemed to think it was worth it so it’s OK with me.

Then my world fell apart when Bella got pregnant.  I was pissed off.  Beyond pissed off.  I called Julianne and told her I couldn’t read anymore and she talked me into finishing.  You want to know why?  Because I felt it was totally sexist.  Why should the women be infertile and the men be able to spread their demon spawn all over the earth.  It just wasn’t fair.  I could picture Esme and Rosalie dying for kids of their own and not able to have them because their “perfect” female bodies were deficient.  Augh, it still makes me mad to think about it but I just talked to Laura L. and she gave me a little medical information care of her sister.  Apparently a man’s sperm can live through pretty much anything.  She said men can even ejaculate after they are dead.  How do like that mental picture?  So anyway, OK, fine.  Male vampires can father children.  Got it.  I’ll try to calm down.

Then the child started killing Bella.  And you know what.  I was happy.  I totally pictured the baby as a monster.  Not like the Cullens.  An actual monster.  Like what I pictured the newborn vampires like when they attacked in Eclipse only never able to grow out of it.  Always a monster.  And I was mad because she was pregnant.  How dare she (mostly meaning Stephenie right now).  I was totally on Jacob and Edwards side.  I wanted her to get rid of the demon baby.  I saw no good in it.  And then, Edward heard her thoughts.  And literally in that instant I flipped.  It was human and I loved it.  I wanted it to come into their world.  I wanted it to survive.  And of course I knew that Bella would turn into a vamp.  There was half a book left.

And Jacob imprinted on Nessie!!!! (Don’t even get me started on the name.  Renesmee?  Really?  Everyone else has great names.  What would possess her to name the baby that?) Didn’t see that one coming.  At all.  Totally blindsided.  I knew he wasn’t going to get away with killing her but that was awesome.  And it brought everyone together.  The wolves and the vampires.  What a perfect match.  A happy ending for Jacob and a place for him in the family too.  Couldn’t have tied that one up neater.

Then my favorite part.  When she wakes up.  I love it.  I love how she can hear everything and see clearly.  I think Stephenie and I might have similar view of the afterlife because she describes the vampires the way I imagine myself when I get the good place hereafter.  Never tiring.  Just running till your heart explodes with joy but your body never falters.  Not needing to stop to eat or sleep.  Being sturdy.  Having your mind free of unnecessary thoughts.  No one being able to influence you.  Beautiful perfect, fit bodies.  Scott has his own theory on that.  He thinks that our minds will be so perfect that we wont care what our bodies look like.  I’m holding out for the perfect body and mind.  I want it all!!  Anyway, sorry to digress.  I love Stephenie’s vampires.  I think they’re written spectacularly.  My favorite super heroes.

And just a shout out to the Ferrari.  Nice work Edward!  Although I like that she prefers to run.  I think I would too if I was a super vamp.  Stephenie hasn’t posted a picture of the one she’s chosen on her website so until she does and I bow to the Queen this is the one I choose.

I love when all the witnesses show up and after some talking to fall in love with Nessie.  Can’t you just picture that beautiful child in your head.  Mine is a perfect mix of my Edward and Bella.  I’ve even accepted the glittering skin.  I love it now.

So when Alice left I knew it was for a good reason.  I knew she wasn’t abandoning them.  That’s just not Alice’s way.  I figured she was looking for answers but certainly didn’t expect to see her show up with another half-n-half.  I figured it would be witnesses of other children but not an actual grown human-vamp.

And then all the planning for Bella’s death totally made me think she was going to survive.  Stephenie laid it on so thick that I saw right past it.  It’s Stephenie for Pete’s sake.  She’s not going to leave us broken hearted like that.  Look at her other four books.  Seriously happy endings (except for Jacob, of course).  She wasn’t fooling me.  Of course I had no idea how they were going to get away but I knew they were.

I really like Aro.  He makes things fun.  He has such an interesting calm manner about him.  I love that he wants to kill them but he’s sincerely interested in Nessie once he figures out what she is.  Then he goes right back into evil mode and wants to kill them again.  Good villain.  The one that cracks me up is Marcus.  Poor guy.  Bored to death with life and sort of dying inside of himself.  A good battle and the prospect of carnage can’t even get him aroused anymore.  I almost feel sorry for him.  Caius drives me nuts.  He’s the one that gets on my nerves.  They kind of have a good cop, bad cop, indifferent cop thing going on.

I’m sorry that Irina died but for goodness sake someone had to die.  Nice of Stephenie to make it someone we’re not even slightly attached to.  I wasn’t anyway.

I like Bella’s super power.  It fits her really well.  I like that she could extend her shield past herself.  To me it’s a little corny that she saved the day but it couldn’t have been any other way.  It was her time to shine and really feel competent.  And plus, she was protecting Nessie, of course she would get all amped up.

I love the ending scene where she lets Edward into her head.  How drop dead romantic is that?  My heart just about exploded when he kept interrupting her with kisses.  There couldn’t have been a more perfect way to end their story together.  Totally satisfying.  What a perfect little family.

So here’s my guess.  I think when Stephenie writes again it will be from Nessie’s perspective.  There’s just a few years until she has fully matured and then she can be with Jacob and the Volturi can launch an attack again or new foes can come their way.  I’m freaking out just thinking about it.  I would love to get inside that girl’s head.  Thank goodness she’s got Jacob to be with for eternity.  Gotta love those never aging werewolves (shape-shifter as I guess I’m now supposed to call them).

There’s so much about this book that I absolutely loved that I just can’t write everything and I know I left out key points.  Now that I have this out of me I feel so content and happy.  If you couldn’t tell, I love this book.  An almost perfect end to a perfect series.  I would love to hear what you have to say about it.  Love to hear.  Even if you didn’t like it; tell me why.  What was your favorite part?  What caught you by surprise?

I ran out to Borders this morning as soon as it opened but I can’t read it probably until Monday. We still have family in town and it would be rude of me to check out to read a book. Even if it’s Breaking Dawn. I can’t tell you how excited I am just to have the book at home with me. I was having nightmares that they would be sold out and I’d have to wait to read it.

I do have a deadline though because Laura L., Julianne and I are going to the Breaking Dawn Concert in LA next Thursday and Stephenie says she’s discussing everything. So pretty much lots of video games for the kids and reading for me. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And it would be a tragedy if I didn’t finish the book in time.

So I promise to post as soon as I read the book. Please in the meantime don’t post any spoilers. I totally want to know what all of you think of the book, just please wait until I’m finished too so we can be as open as possible.

So the big battle is over. Bella is sitting in Alice’s bathroom and asking her about being a newborn. Alice says she doesn’t know how it’s going to be for Bella because Alice has never known someone who’s chosen to become vampire before. She says, “It should be interesting to see how that affects you?” So I wonder if it’s going to be as hard for Bella. I’ve already said that I think her aversion to human blood will work in her favor and I think her choosing to turn will also work in her favor. Maybe it will be really easy for her. I wonder if she wont wake up after three days and just be fine. Just rock hard, craving animal blood and wired. I don’t know.

And a quick shout out to Charlie for putting Bella on the spot about running off with Edward. He’s got his spidey senses working. (There would be super heroes on my “Diagon Alley” too.)

I know it’s heartbreaking but I love the developments with Jacob. Both in the woods with the kiss and in his bedroom. I absolutely love the vision Bella has with the two little black haired children running around and I love that she talks to Jacob about it. That way he knows that she fully understands her decision and hopefully it will help him move on with time. I also love that he says he’ll always be waiting for her. It’s a very romantic notion but I wonder how that’s going to play out with the whole imprinting thing. If he imprints. I don’t know about that one either.

Then comes one of my favorite quotes from Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Bella is quoting it to Edward confirming that she’s made the right decision by staying with him. “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” And then Edward answers back Heathcliff’s line, “I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” So first of all, man do I love Wuthering Heights and secondly, man do I wish Scott and I quoted romantic verse to each other.

I definitely feel that by the end of Eclipse Bella has a better understanding of herself and her decisions. And I love that Edward flips on her so that she really has to commit to her decisions to get married and such. I will admit though that I’m not down with the Anne of Green Gables dress. I get it, don’t think I don’t get it. I just think it’s a little much but I guess Bella doesn’t really care what her wedding dress looks like so why should I. I just wonder when they make the Eclipse movie if they’re going to stay true to that. My guess is no, but I’m totally willing to be wrong. I just don’t think it speaks to a broad enough audience.  But if they change it, boy will they make enemies.  Let me go on record to say that I wouldn’t be one of them.

Now to Jacob. I’m so happy to have a little time only with him. To hear his thoughts and feel what he’s feeling. So what do you think? Is he coming back? Taha Aki never came back and Stephenie was sure to tell us that. It’s hard to imagine him being gone for good. I know he didn’t look at the date on the invitation but he could always listen to his “brothers” minds and find out when the wedding is and come back. Weirder things have happened.

This would be a great time to pledge my allegiance. Even though I am Switzerland and I think the vampires and the werewolves should coexist in happiness I am not on Team Switzerland. You can’t have both. That’s how I feel at least. A decision has to be made and for me it’s Team Edward. I love Bella’s decision. I would have made the same one. In fact, I did make the same one. Just like I relate to Bella even though I don’t agree with everything she does or feels, I totally think Edward is Scott. Works out conveniently for me Stephenie wrote two characters that I can totally love and relate to. That hasn’t happened to me before. I’m really enjoying it.

I’m just so happy to read this book again. It has some of my favorite quotes and it introduced me to one of my favorite books. Holy freaking crap, I love this series. And now just a few more days until Breaking Dawn! What could be better?

So this is a little bit of Breaking Dawn too. There’s an interview on Amazon with Stephenie saying there are two books she’s inspired by in Breaking Dawn. One is A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was talking to Laura and Julianne the other day about this and we discussed how the fairies messed with all the couples and switched around who they were in love with. So we immediately thought of imprinting. What if some wacky stuff goes down with Jacob or Leah or the other wolves (not Jacob and Leah, as far as I’m concerned that ship has sailed). Then I was reading in Eclipse when Edward and Bella are talking about the complex dynamic with the wolves and their thoughts and Edward brings up the imprinting and says, “It reminds me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies’ love spells…” How crazy is that? So maybe we were right and the wolves are going to go through some crazy love “spells”. Are they going to somehow effect the vampires or Edward and Bella or are they going to be contained by the wolves? I don’t know but I’m so excited to find out.

The next “insight”, maybe, into Breaking Dawn is when Bella finally realizes she’s ready to join Edward’s family. She’s realized that she’s got to make a choice and she says:

“The next time something came at us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.”

What do you think? Is this foreshadowing for Breaking Dawn or is this just wishful thinking on Bella’s part?

I got to one of my favorite parts which is where Bella, Jacob and Edward are all in the tent. I love the whole conversation but here are a few of my favorite parts:

“Go fetch a space heater,” he (Jacob) grumbled. “I’m not a St. Bernard.”

“Your lips are still blue,” he (Jacob) mused. “Want me to warm those up for you, too?

Seth shows up and Jacob says, “Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you.”

“You know, Jacob, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re natural enemies and that you’re also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.” (Edward)

“Maybe…if you weren’t a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love…well, no, not even then.” (Jacob)

“Sorry,” Jacob whispered. “You could leave, you know–give us a little privacy.”

“Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?” Edward offered.

“You could try,” Jacob said, unconcerned. “It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn’t that perfect.”

Jacob whispered a laugh. “I’d rather not move just now, if you don’t mind.”

I love that they actually got some time to talk to each other when Jacob wasn’t practically shouting. Still a tense situation, but Jacob has the upper hand here if only for a moment. It’s good to see Jacob get a little appreciation.

I love it too when Bella wakes up in the morning and can’t get Jake off of her and she asks Edward for some help. He says, “Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?” Funny stuff. I love that Edward is just a guy too. He wants to rip Jacob apart as much as Jacob wants to rip him apart. He just has a little more of Heathcliff in him so he wont hurt Jacob as long as Bella loves him. I love that Heathcliff says if Cathy changed her mind he would have “…drank his blood! (p266)” How funny that that fits together so nicely. (Not that Edward would drink the dogs blood but maybe, huh?)

So Bella has no idea how she’s playing both Edward and Jacob. Going back to the Cathy scenario, she only knows that she wants both of them and they’ll both pretty much cave to her and she only marginally thinks about Jacob’s feelings. So then she pulls this one after the graduation party when the werewolves and vampires have decided to work together. To Edward, “If you wont take me, then I’ll call Jacob.” Woah. Really Bella? How manipulative can you get? I get that she’s terrified for her two soul mates but yikes. I mean is she picking Edward or Jacob? I guess neither at this point; she still thinks she can have her cake and eat it too. But there was probably a better way to get Edward to take her. I guess I just have to remember she’s only 17, right?

I get a chuckle every time I read this:

Edward: “To think it’s come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!”

“Fighting with vampires instead of against them!” Jacob mirrored Edward’s tone of disgust.

“Well, you still get to fight against some of them,” Edward said.

Jacob smiles. “That’s the reason we’re here.”

Silly boys.

This is just a quick one. After the night with the werewolves and vampires getting together Bella wakes in the morning and makes herself Pop Tarts. I’m totally down with that. I like the cherry ones so I assume that’s what Bella’s eating too. Kind of silly, or maybe a lot silly, but that’s OK.

Right after the Pop Tarts Bella is telling Edward that he can’t give her gifts because he’s already given himself, “…and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.” To which Edward replies, “The way you regard me is ludicrous.” Um yeah. I know that when you first fall in love you totally overlook all the negative things a person does. I did it. Scott did it. We all do it but to put Edward up on a pedestal like a god is a little ridiculous. Sometimes I lose patience with Bella because she has no regard for herself and thinks Edward is perfect. Give me a break. Nobody is perfect. And it drives me nuts because she thinks becoming a vampire will even the playing field. Yeah she’ll be beautiful and strong but she’ll still be just Bella on the inside. So she better start shaping up quick since the day is fast approaching.

I love the theme of Wuthering Heights through Eclipse. I hadn’t read Wuthering Heights before I read this book so when I finally picked it up I had Bella’s (Stephenie’s) perspective to guide me through. It has ended up being one of my favorite books. So now that I’m reading Eclipse again and I read Bella say, “Well, I hope you’re smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff.” Stephenie sets up the book so perfectly. Bella’s desire to be with both Jacob and Edward causes major turmoil for all three of them. Her desire to have both. She just can’t live with her decision and let go. I’m glad she doesn’t. (I probably wouldn’t have.) It makes for a great read. And that’s not to mention the major selfish act at the end of the book that ends up saving her life. Having Edward camping with her ended up in her favor for sure. (Again, probably something I would have done too.)

I always forget that Bella goes to see Renee. It’s such a short part of the book but there are two things that catch my attention when I read it. They both happen when Renee is expressing her concerns about Bella’s relationship with Edward. She’s talking about how Bella moves and positions herself around Edward. She says, “You’re like a …satellite, or something.” I love it because that’s how Bella described herself in New Moon. She said she was like a moon who’s planet had imploded and she was still circling where he should have been. I like it when books tie together like that.

The second is just a bit later when Bella asks her mom if she’s been reading any good sci-fi and her mom says, “Well, there was one…” I love it. A little nod to The Host which I absolutely loved by the way. Not as feverishly as Twilight but still loved.

How funny is it when Bella is trying to talk everyone in to turning her into a vampire and she’s complaining that Edward swept her off to Florida and Alice says, “Haven’t you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?” That is an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. He does calm down after a while but the whole kidnapping thing is hilarious. I can understand it though. With his understanding of werewolves and the whole mortal enemy thing going on and of course his jealousy, he’s a over the top, but who doesn’t make rash decisions sometimes?

Now my favorite part in all three books. One simple paragraph that just thrills me every time I read it.

“when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence.

I love that part but here comes my favorite.

I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”

Does anyone else want Angela to be a witch? I love witches! I don’t see how it would play into the story but bring it on. We can all meet in Diagon Alley where witches and werewolves and vampires are all welcome. I guess werewolves and vampires are not really welcome in Diagon Alley, so we’ll make up our own magical street. Maybe that was even a nod to Harry Potter. Because she could have said she could be a fairy or an elf (who would also be welcome on my street.) I don’t know, what do you think?

My favorite foreshadowing happens after Bella has jumped off the cliff and she’s dreaming about Juliet. She’s questioning if Romeo left would Juliet marry Paris. She comes to the conclusion that, “‘Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris’ would have never been a hit.” Stephenie pretty much spells it out there. Sorry Jacob it’s just not going to happen and somehow Edward is coming back. You don’t know how yet but you know he’s on his way. Well, I guess Bella has to go get him but you know what I mean.

It’s almost like a breath of fresh air when Edward comes back and gets Bella back to her house. When she wakes up and decides she wants to put her mortality to a vote I just about cracked up. My favorite bit of Bella and Edwards conversation is this

“Stay here,” he suggested…

“No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home…”

“Okay,”he sighed.”I’ll give you a ride.”

I shrugged. “Either way. But you probably should be there, too.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re extraordinarily opinionated, and I’m sure you’ll want a chance to air your view.”

It just healed all the wounds of Edward leaving to have them banter like that again. Like he was really back for good.  And he is extraordinarily opinionated.

Then when Edward proposes and Bella is using her mother as an excuse not to get married and Edward says, “Because she’d rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married…” How funny is that? I love that Bella is totally OK with becoming a vampire but the thought of marriage sends her through the roof. Hilarious.

I love New Moon. I love the journey. Every bit of it. The extreme pain and the extreme relief at the end. It’s all worth it. Now on to Eclipse!!

18. Who was Bella surprised to see in the meadow?

19. What color eyes do “good” vampires have?

20. Who chased Laurent out of the meadow?

21. What does legend say that the Quileutes tied to the tops of the tallest trees in the mountains?

22. Who are the enemies of vampires?

23. What do the werewolves refer to themselves as?

24. Why did Jacob worry about being too mad?

25. What is the name of Sam’s girlfriend (fiancee)?

26. What were the names of Jacob’s werewolf brothers?

27. What Shakespearean figure did Bella dream about after surviving her cliff dive?

28. Which friend of Charlie & Billy’s had a heart attack?

29. What reason did Bella tell Alice for why she jumped off the cliff?

30. What was the name of the family in Italy that the Cullen’s were afraid of?

31. What was the name of the leader in the underground in Volturi City?

32. Where did Edward hide Bella’s CD, pictures and tickets?

33. Who agreed to make Bella a vampire?

34. What did Jacob put in the driveway to get Bella in more trouble with Charlie?

1. What is the date of Bella’s birthday?

2. What kind of vehicle does Bella drive?

3. Who was one of Bella’s favorite fictional characters?

4. What did Carlisle remove from Bella’s arm at the Cullen’s on her birthday?

5. What was Edward’s mother’s name?

6. What is the name of the place where Bella worked?

7. Who found Bella lost in the forest?

8. What kind of math did Bella take in her final semester?

9. What kind of movie did Bella & Jessica go to see in Port Angeles?

10. What kind of car and year was Jacob working on?

11. What were Jacob’s friends’ names?

12. What town did Jacob & Bella go to for motorcycle parts?

13. What kind of spaghetti sauce did Billy use?

14. What was the name of the movie that Bella, Jacob & MIke went to see?

15. What did Bella wish that Jacob was to her?

16. What color is Billy & Jacobs house?

17. What disease did Billy think Jacob had? (I don’t like the way this one is worded because Billy knew exactly what was going on with Jacob. Maybe a better way to ask would be: What disease did Billy say Jacob had?)

So you all know that I love the Twilight series and I’ve been blogging more about it to tell you why. Well we’ve hit the jackpot. New Moon means more to me than either of the other two books and it’s because of the journey that Bella takes. Let me get a little personal to explain why.

Most of you know that I’m bipolar and about two years ago I was hospitalized because of it. That was the darkest point of my life. I had a week leading up to my breakdown where I kept feeling like I was losing control of myself. I would find myself crunched in a ball on the ground trying to hold myself together. Then the breakdown actually came and I vividly remember lying in the ER at El Camino Hospital shaking from head to toe thinking I was either going to die or go insane. I remember when they took me to the psych ward and asked Scott to leave. That’s the last thing I remember for about 3 days. One day I woke up and fell into the routine of the hospital (group therapy, art therapy, meals, etc.). Then I got released into the outpatient program which is where the hell really began. I literally could not handle being out of my bed huddled under the covers. Any stimulation whatsoever would send me cringing back into my shell. I couldn’t take care of my kids. I woke up in the morning and went to the hospital and then came home and went to my room. Oh my gosh, just remembering it is awful, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Time went on and I eventually started going to church and interacting with people again but I was totally dead inside. I was so scared of losing control of myself again that I refused to let myself feel anything. No love, no happiness, no tenderness, nothing.

A little more time passed and I finally was able to reach out to Scott and my kids again. I can’t even explain how scary or painful that was. Another thing that happened that may seem strange is that I lost the ability to breathe normally. I couldn’t take in a deep breath for fear of opening up the gaping hole in my soul. It felt like a black hole had taken over my chest and threatened to suck me in if I wasn’t vigilant at guarding myself. So every step I took closer to Scott and the kids, was a step closer to that hole. It was like recovering from a horrific car accident and having to do extensive physical therapy. It was really hard and it hurt like hell but with their help I did it. I finally brought them back in.

That’s where I was when I found Twilight. Well on the road to recovery, but still a long journey ahead of me. So I get to New Moon and Stephenie paints this beautifully, horrible picture of Bella suffering and the hole in her torso that rips and pulses at the edges. I love that when Edward leaves all we get is October, November, December, January. That’s exactly what I felt like. The time passed but it didn’t mean anything. Then when she goes to the zombie movie with Jessica and realizes she’s the zombie I realized that I was the zombie too. Totally dead to the world. Going through the motions with no real feeling. Then everything changes that night. She’s not totally dead anymore. Some of her defenses come down and she can’t bring them back and it’s scary as hell to feel so vulnerable.

Then the best thing happens. She makes the decision to be reckless. The healing begins. Every day she feels more vulnerable but she’s loving it. That’s what New Moon did for me. It touched me so deep down inside where nothing else touched me. It brought me to life. That’s why I’m so obsessed with these books. They literally changed my life. A teen vampire book changed my life. It woke me up and made me realize that I needed to put forth more effort if I wanted to live a healthy life again. As Bella started smiling without effort and laughing without realizing it so did I. I relished in her recovery, I drank it in and let it fill me up.

So when I say I love Bella it really means I love that Stephenie so descriptively wrote about a pain so awful it tears your soul into tiny pieces that takes years to put back together. Well I guess for Bella it only took Edwards return, but in real life it takes a long time to recover from that kind of hurt.

I know you’ve all probably felt that way. I know I’m not the only person on the Earth that has experienced this. I just happened to find Bella and really felt like she was a “kindred spirit”. Her pain was felt so similarly to mine that I couldn’t help loving her. So if I run around on Twilight related trips wearing “I am Switzerland” t-shirts it’s not only because I’m crazy, which I am, but also because I’m reveling in my recovery.

I guess I should mention that I’m doing great. Not 100% yet but I have every hope that I will be. Every day that passes brings me closer to myself. In fact, I would say I’m a much better person now than I was before the episode. Much stronger. I’m totally trying new things that I never would have dreamed of before. I appreciate my family and friends more. I appreciate God more. Life is good.

Sorry for the long post, I just really wanted you to understand how deeply I love these books. I can honestly say that these books have been a blessing in my life. Corny, I know.